


A Very Strange Day

by Kyarorain



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-18
Updated: 2010-11-18
Packaged: 2017-10-15 11:17:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/160278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyarorain/pseuds/Kyarorain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ash, May, Brock and Max have no idea what they are in for upon reaching the latest town.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Very Strange Day

**A Very Strange Day**

* * *

Another random oneshot from yours truly.

Game Freak and Nintendo own Pokémon.

* * *

The day had started off pleasantly enough with decent weather and everyone had risen early that morning to eat breakfast before heading off. Now they had just arrived at a town well before lunchtime. Things were looking good for them so far. At this rate, they would surely reach the next contest location, Rubello Town, within a few days and May was looking forward to trying for her next ribbon.

However, ribbons were not the first thing on the brunette's mind as she caught sight of a noodle bar and stopped in the street. "Ooh, a noodle bar." She clasped her hands, her blue eyes sparkling in exasperation.

Her younger brother, Max, gave her an exasperated look. "Do you ever get tired of eating noodles?" he asked wearily.

Ash looked around at the tall buildings on either side of the street. "I wonder where the Pokémon Center is. Pikachu is looking forward to a good rest after all the battles we've been having, right, Pikachu?"

"Pika." The yellow mouse Pokémon nodded emphatically.

"And of course I must flirt with the beautiful Nurse Joy because I enjoy using ridiculously overused gags that everybody got sick of a long, long time ago!" Brock declared, not looking ashamed in the least. "I don't even care about the fact that everyone is tired of me doing it all the time."

"Excuse me!" May skipped up to the noodle bar, paying little attention to her companions. Very little could get her mind off her favourite food. "Ten bowls of noodles please." The attendant gave her a strange look but started preparing her order anyway.

While May waited for her noodles to be ready, the boys just stood there, waiting for something to happen as was surely inevitable. Something always happened. Just then, the Character of the Day emerged from the crowds of people on the street and approached them.

"Hi, I'm the Character of the Day," said the Character of the Day, who looked suspiciously like a recoloured background character who had been seen many times before in the background. "I'm here to waste your time with pointless crap that nobody really gives a damn about."

"Oh, cool." Max just stared at the Character of the Day with a dumb look on his face.

"Great! I love pointless crap," Ash said enthusiastically. "So what pointless crap are you going to waste our time with today?" He just couldn't wait to waste his precious time that would have been better spent doing something useful like training his Pokémon.

"Hmm." The Character of the Day paused for a moment as if thinking about what the time wasting mission should be. "Oh yeah, you see, I have this weak and puny little Shroomish and I would like you to waste your time helping me to make my weak and puny Pokémon big and strong. Oh yeah, my name is Bobby, by the way."

May had just finished her bowls of noodles in record time and rejoined everyone in time to catch their conversation. "You know, I just wondered why we always spend way too much time bothering to help out random people we've never even met before. Don't we have better things to do like going to the gyms and contests?"

"Eh, who cares?" Ash shrugged. "The guy's got a problem and clearly we're the only people in the world who could possibly help him, so why not?"

However, the quartet would never get the chance to help out Bobby as a cloaked figure sailed down from the sky, landing neatly on his feet behind Bobby. In his hands, he held a very long sword which he sharply thrust it right through the boy's gut. Bobby gasped, clutching at his gut, his mouth gaping open in horror as the sword was withdrawn, then he collapsed to the ground, twitching while a pool of blood formed around him.

May stared dumbly at the dying person before she remembered the presence of her younger brother who shouldn't be seeing such gory things and frantically clamped her hands over his eyes.

"You're about thirty seconds too late," Max pointed out. "I'm already scarred for life, thanks. Now excuse me while I curl up in the fetal position and cry."

May watched Max curl up in the fetal position and cry. "Well, this is one thing we won't mention in the postcards to Mom and Dad."

"Hey, what was that for?" Brock asked, looking at the cloaked newcomer.

"I am the Character of the Day Killer," the stranger responded in an ominous voice. "It is my sworn duty to hunt down every single Character of the Day and put an end to their miserable time wasting lives!" He threw back his head and burst into maniacal laughter.

"But that's not very nice," Ash said, giving him a reproachful glare.

"Yeah, well, neither is your annoying habit of wasting time because you're always spending it helping out random characters that nobody gives a shit about!" the stranger snapped. "I must go now, but I'll be back!" Laughing maniacally again, he threw a smoke bomb to the ground. When the thick cloud of smoke had cleared, the person was gone.

"That was really random," May commented.

"Someone has issues," Brock said, shaking his head.

While the police came to deal with the body, Ash and company decided that now that there was no Character of the Day to be wasting their time with, they would go to the Pokémon Center. As they walked through the doors of the building, Brock let out a cry and ran across the lobby to the counter where Nurse Joy stood.

"Nurse Joy!" Brock exclaimed, leaning over the counter. "Your figure is so heavenly and radiant that every time I glimpse your beautiful form, I feel that rush of blood to the p... head and it makes me so dizzy..."

As Brock continued with his tirade, Nurse Joy calmly took a can of Mace out from underneath the counter and proceeded to empty its contents into Brock's face. The Pokémon breeder screamed in agony and collapsed to the floor, clawing at his searing eyes. As he suffered, Nurse Joy quickly made a phone call.

"Brock, are you okay?" Ash asked, despite the fact that Brock was quite obviously not okay.

"Of course I'm not okay! My eyes, my bleeding eyes!" Brock shrieked, half sobbing in agony.

"Does this mean my ear pulling days are over?" Max wondered. Hopefully getting sprayed in the face would have taught Brock a lesson that he wouldn't be forgetting any time soon.

The doors of the Pokémon Center opened and Officer Jenny came running in with handcuffs at the ready. To Ash and company's surprise, Officer Jenny pulled Brock to his feet and snapped handcuffs on his wrists.

"I haven't fallen unconscious from the pain and ended up having one of my kinky Officer Jenny fantasies, have I?" Brock asked. He would have asked someone to pinch him but that wasn't necessary when his eyes were still burning.

"Officer Jenny, what are you doing?" Ash asked.

"I am carrying out the arrest of a sexual predator who has been harassing women all over the region," said Officer Jenny.

"You've got the wrong person!" Brock protested.

"Oh, so it must be another teenage male with spiky brown hair and eyes that never open who also likes hitting on unwilling women," Officer Jenny said sarcastically. She looked at Nurse Joy. "Thank you for helping me to apprehend this wandering creep. I will make sure he never pesters another woman ever again."

"Isn't this going just a bit overboard?" May muttered, a huge bead of sweat dripping down her head.

"But you can't take him away!" Ash wailed. "Who will cook for us?"

"Oh, I'm sure there are other sad and pathetic males out there willing to spend their lives babysitting you," Officer Jenny said before marching Brock out of the Pokémon Center.

Ash, May and Max stared hopelessly as the police car sped away with Brock in the back.

"Oh, well... Nurse Joy, my Pokémon need some rest." Ash set Pikachu and the Poké Balls down on the counter.

"I'll take good care of them," Nurse Joy assured him.

x-o-x-o-x

Meanwhile, a certain dastardly trio lurked within the outskirts of the town, cooking up a diabolical plot to steal Pikachu despite the fact they had failed to steal Pikachu hundreds of times.

"I don't know why we bother with these convoluted plots," Jessie said. "Let's just get some guns and scare him into handing Pikachu over."

"Oh, Jessie, you're so psychotic and crazy, I don't know why I haven't professed true love to you yet." James smiled.

"Be serious, you guys!" Meowth snapped. "We're so low on cash right now that we can barely afford instant noodles and we won't be getting another loan for a while, so a mecha's out of the question. Maybe we should try another pitfall trap."

"We're always low on cash," James grumbled. "And I'm so hungry."

"Stop your whining, James. With an attitude like that we'll never get anywhere." Jessie folded her arms and closed her eyes, thinking. Suddenly, her tummy let out a very loud grumble.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who's hungry," James pointed out.

"I suppose we could go in for a bite to eat, but won't the twerps see us?" Jessie wondered.

"Don't worry. With these amazing disguises, we'll walk right past them like always." Meowth handed out some tiaras.

"Uh... what are these?" Jessie asked.

"I think you forgot the clothes," James stated.

"Trust me. Just put the tiaras on," Meowth said.

Jessie and James did so, looking doubtful. Had Meowth gone crazy, or rather, crazier than usual? They certainly were starting to think so. Meowth put his own and then they walked into the town. They were just walking in the direction of the Pokémon Center when Ash and company suddenly came out. Jessie and James gasped in horror. Ash would so much as blast them off just for standing around doing nothing but considering that they were always up to no good, it was hardly a surprise.

"Oh look, there are three people I've never even seen before standing in the street. I don't even know why I'm pointing that out," said Ash. The trio continued walking past without even glancing a second time at Team Rocket.

Jessie and James were stunned. How had the simple tiaras managed to disguise them?

"Either the twerps are stupider than usual or these tiaras really work," James said in amazement.

"See, I told you guys they would," Meowth said proudly. "Now let's fill these tummies of ours."

x-o-x-o-x

Ash, May and Max had been walking through the town for a while now, just looking around at the sights when they caught sight of a large and colourful tent just sitting in the middle of a park. Naturally, their innate curiousity had led them to go and take a closer look at it.

"I wonder if it's a circus tent, but then where are the signs?" Max wondered.

"It wouldn't hurt to take a look inside, would it?" May approached the opening to the tent. "Let's go in."

Ash, May and Max walked through the opening and found out to their dismay that there was absolutely nothing there. They were about to turn around and leave when there was a flash of light. Suddenly, a wizened old man wearing a robe and conical hat stood there, clutching a wooden staff.

"Whoah! Where did you come from?" Ash stared at him in amazement.

"I am a wizard," said the old man. "You have discovered my secret abode-"

"Secret? It was sitting there right in the middle of town," Max pointed out. "And a tent is a bit attention grabbing, don't you think?"

The wizard frowned. "I don't like you, kid. You think you're so smart? Well, take this!" He pointed the staff and there was a flash of light from its tip. Max instantly vanished from sight.

May shrieked in horror, clapping her hands to her face. "Max! Oh no!"

"What did you do to Max?" Ash asked furiously, glaring at the wizard. "You'd better bring him back right now!"

"Oh come on, don't tell me you actually miss that know it all brat," the wizard said snidely. "Very well, I will return him to you, but under one condition." He reached into his pocket and pulled out two oil lamps which he handed over to Ash and May. "These will grant you three wishes, but you must use them wisely. If you manage to use them responsibly... then I will see about returning the boy."

"But couldn't I just wish for a bowl of noodles, then a cup of soda, then an ice cream right now and get Max back?" May wondered.

"Now would you really waste this rare and special gift on such trivial things? This may the only opportunity you will ever have for your wishes to come true," said the wizard. "Don't waste it on such silly things."

"Hmm, this is pretty cool." A smile split Ash's face. "I wonder what I'm going to wish for."

"Have fun." The wizard vanished in a puff of sparkly smoke, leaving the two alone. Ash and May walked out of the tent, staring reverently at the lamps.

"I wonder what would happen if I wished to be a Pokémon Master?" Ash's eyes gleamed in anticipation. "Do you think I would actually be one?"

"Or what if I wished to be a top Co-ordinator?" May murmured.

The two silently stared at the lamps, eyes sparkling. Then they sighed in unison.

"That wouldn't be as much fun as actually working for it," Ash muttered.

"Yeah, you have a point," May agreed.

"Hmm, then I wonder what we should wish for?" Ash stared at the lamp some more. "Is there anything you would like to wish for, Pikachu?"

Pikachu considered this for a moment then gestured excitedly and mimed licking. Ash let out an exasperated sigh.

"Seriously, Pikachu, you would actually wish for something like a bottle of ketchup?" Pikachu just nodded. "Well, I'm not wishing for a bottle of ketchup." Pikachu pouted in response.

"Okay, I know what I'm going to wish for!" May exclaimed suddenly, startling Ash. "I wish for my very own noodle stand complete with its own noodle chef to cook for me!"

Ash crashed to the ground, a giant sweatdrop rolling down his head. "You're worse than Pikachu..."

A noodle stand appeared out of nowhere and a noodle chef also happened to be standing there, not seeming in the least perturbed about having been conjured into existence all of a sudden.

"It really works!" May jumped up and down happily. "Now I can have noodles for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and whenever I'm feeling hungry. We don't have to worry about Brock being gone anymore."

Ash stood up, looking reluctant. "Hey, I do like noodles, but I don't know about eating them all the time and especially for breakfast."

"Come on, Ash, make a wish already." May chose to ignore his statement. "Be daring."

"Okay... hmm, where was the next gym located?" Ash murmured. "Oh right, it was Fortree City, wasn't it? Then I wish we were all standing in front of the Fortree City Gym!"

They were warped away in a flash and found themselves in Fortree City. The gym was indeed right before them.

"Wait, what about my contest?" May wailed.

"When I'm done, you can just wish us there." Ash shrugged.

"But... but... that's a waste of wishes..." May protested, pouting.

"Okay, I'm gonna go get my badge now!" Ash marched toward the gym and entered. Except Winona wasn't even in the gym and they had to go hunt her down. Finally, he had his next gym badge in his hands and gazed at it proudly before doing a pose. "Alright, I got the Feather Badge!"

Now that Ash had his badge, they sat down at the noodle stand to eat some bowls of noodles before leaving the town. They didn't get far before a random generic character popped out of nowhere.

"Oh, how nice to meet some kids just wandering around with nothing better to do," said the generic character. "Would you like to meet my girlfriend and try to solve our dilemma that involves our Pokémon not getting along?"

"Of course I would! I love getting involved in situations that don't have anything to do with me!" Ash said happily.

"Wait a minute, you're a Character of the Day?" May paused, looking around. "Uh-oh..."

A shot rang out and suddenly the Character of the Day was lying on his back with a hole in his chest.

"The Character of the Day Killer!" Ash turned around, spotting a cloaked figure standing in a tree top. "You're not getting away this time!" The figure leaped from the tree and Ash gave chase, disappearing into the trees after him.

May sighed and sat down on the stand, holding her head in her hands. "Why is everything so ridiculous lately?"

Ash continued to chase the CotD killer, which was difficult considering how fast and nimble he was on his feet. "Ugh... Pikachu, try and use your Thunderbolt! Wait... I've got an idea..." He pulled out the lamp. "I wish the Character of the Day Killer was a... what's the word for someone who can't move... oh, er, vegetable."

The Character of the Day promptly turned into a carrot and fell to the ground unmoving.

Ash walked up to the carrot and picked it up, looking dismayed. "Not that kind of vegetable!"

"Pika..." Pikachu slapped his forehead and sighed.

"Oh well, at least he can't kill more people." Ash dropped the carrot. Pikachu picked it up and took a bite, causing Ash to blanch in shock. "What are you doing?"

Pikachu rubbed his belly, indicating that he was hungry, and took another bite from the carrot, not seeming bothered about what he was doing in the least.

x-o-x-o-x

Team Rocket had somehow managed to catch up to Ash and May in record time and were now watching May at the noodle stand. She was holding the genie lamp and staring at it with a troubled expression.

"Just two wishes and I can get Max back..." May said. "I wonder where he is."

Jessie, James and Meowth exchanged surprised glances then started whispering conspirationally.

"Either the twerpette's lost her marbles or that lamp might actually grant wishes!" James said excitedly.

"We should get it off her before the other twerps come back." Jessie smiled deviously. "I'm going to make myself a top co-ordinator and have a harem of beautiful men and my own palace with a spa and a sauna and a masseur and..."

James and Meowth tuned her out as she kept on rambling about what she wanted to wish for.

"Didn't she say just two wishes though?" Meowth asked.

Jessie, James and Meowth all looked at each other with fierce expressions.

"I'm getting a wish!" James declared. "I want to have the biggest rare bottlecap collection in the world!"

"Who cares about your bottlecaps? I deserve to have my palace, bishounen harem, and the rest!" Jessie shook her fist angrily.

"Hey, hey, what about me? This is my chance to become the boss's number one and replace that mangy Persian of his!" Meowth shouted.

The three lunged at each other and a cloud of dust rose around them as they started beating the living crap out of each other.

x-o-x-o-x

May heard the shouts and scuffling and jumped up, seeing the bushes rustling furiously. "Now what?" She raised an eyebrow. As she listened to the raised voices, it didn't take long to figure out it was Team Rocket.

"Hey, May." Ash had returned with Pikachu. "What's wrong?"

"Did the Character of the Day Killer get away again?" May asked.

"No, Pikachu ate him," Ash responded.

"Okay, there's no need to be sarcastic," May said huffily, folding her arms and turning away in annoyance.

"No, really, I accidentally turned him into a carrot and... isn't that Team Rocket fighting over there?"

Team Rocket became aware that they were being watched and jumped out of the bushes, facing the two with threatening expressions.

"We're going to get that wish granting lamp!" Jessie declared, pointing at the lamp that May was holding.

Ash sighed in exasperation. "I'm sick of you guys trying to steal from us all the time. I wish you would just quit it!"

Then an odd change took over Team Rocket. They exchanged glances.

"You know... maybe this whole stealing thing isn't so great," Jessie said.

"Yeah. Maybe we should get actual jobs we're good at," James said.

"That sounds great. I'm so over this ridiculous Team Rocket nonsense," Meowth said.

Jessie and James tore off their Team Rocket uniforms, somehow wearing perfectly ordinary clothes underneath. They did it all the time the other way round anyway.

"See ya!" The trio waved at Ash and May, then walked off into the distance.

"Whoah, I didn't expect Team Rocket to turn over a new leaf just like that," Ash said in amazement.

"Um, Ash, I think it was the lamp," May said dryly.

"But... I wasn't even holding onto it..." Ash frantically searched for the lamp only to find that it was gone and fell to his knees, tears streaming down his cheeks. "No! I used up my last wish!"

"Well, look on the bright side, they won't be pestering us all the time anymore," May said. "You shouldn't have been so impatient and wished us to the gym. How did you use your second wish anyway?"

"I wanted that killer guy to stop moving so I could catch him and I wished for him to be a vegetable," Ash muttered. "That's why he became a carrot."

May sighed exasperatedly. "I'm just going to use up my wishes and get Max back. Let's see... I wish that Drew was bald."

Ash looked at her incredulously.

"Next time I see him, which will hopefully be at the contest, I'm going to tease him." May smiled deviously.

"Oh, jeez." Ash buried his face in his hands.

"He won't have such an annoying smirk on his face when I'm mocking his lack of hair."

"But... don't you think you went a bit too far?"

"It will grow back. Now then... I wish we were in Rubello Town."

Again, they were warped away by the power of the lamp, along with the noodle stand, and were now standing around in Rubello Town. People in the crowds screamed in shock and passed out, astonished by the magically appearing children and noodle stand.

"Alright, where is that wizard?" May looked around. "We used up our wishes so he should come and give Max back."

The wizard suddenly appeared in a shower of sparkly dust. "So, you have used all three wishes."

"Yeah, now give me back my brother."

"Um... no."

"What?" May shrieked.

"Your wishes were ridiculous and selfish. Like I'm going to give you back your brother," said the wizard. "Besides, he was an annoying little smartass."

"What about my wishes? Don't they count?" asked Ash.

"I guess your wishes were a bit better, but no."

"Did you ever intend to give Max back in the first place?" May frowned.

"To be honest, no. I just felt like messing around with you kids," said the wizard. "Anyway, didn't you enjoy making wishes?"

"Where is Max?" Ash asked.

"I sent him ten years into the past," the wizard responded. May let out a shriek of horror. "Look on the bright side, if you see him again, at least he'll be cooler." What the wizard didn't mention was the fact that Max would have developed a freaky penchant for girls wearing short skirts and that his name would be Conway. "Well, I've got places to be and things to do. Goodbye!" The wizard vanished in another puff of smoke.

"Max... no!" May fell to her knees, sobbing.

"Eh, to be honest, I don't really miss him that much." Ash sat at the noodle stand. "Can I have a bowl of noodles, please?"

"Ooh, give me five bowls of noodles!" May immediately forgot about Max and rushed up to the stand. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all. She was just going to have to think of a really good excuse for her parents.


End file.
